early exit?

so i may be leaving edinburgh early. i was originally scheduled to leave on the 4th, but i'm just not having fun. it's chilly and rainy out right now, so i've taken refuge at my hostel and snagged a computer to entertain me.

i'm not sure what's wrong. well, i guess i do know. i feel down, one of those days where my life just feels pointless.

to start, i don't know what's in store for my future, career-wise. i have a lot of mixed feelings about the past two weeks. i'm trying to be excited about editing the show, but this year's one just doesn't have me jacked like BBII did. and no one is going to like this as much as BBIII, which is the most popular show we've ever done. of course, it's the only one of the BBs i did NOT work on. nice, eh? even my best friends watched III and were all jacked about it, but they didn't like the one i worked on.

furthermore, i'm bummed about j. i wish i felt alive with energy, so i could just travel and explore edinburgh, go to clubs and flirt with scottish girls. but my confidence is gone and i just feel kinda heartbroken right now.