2006

i hate new year's eve. i usually always feel lonely inside. it makes me aware of how many really good friends i have. which isn't many. anyway, this year i set out to have no expectations and not make too much out of it.

i walked downtown with my neighbor tarin and her boyfriend mike, and another couple they're friends with. when we got to orange ave, they all went to a bar called lizzies, and i went across the street to independent bar. catherine kept calling me, which was good, cause i had an excuse to leave them and go to i-bar, where she was going. i guess i should mention that catherine is a girl i've slept with and messed around with, but we've never dated. we just hang out every now and then.

it was about 11:30 when i entered i-bar. i walked around and couldn't find her or a couple other friends that were supposed to be there. so i left. i was gonna just walk around, look at all the freaks downtown, and then head over to the lake and go home, but at the last moment i decided to go back to i-bar. when i got there, i found catherine as well as ronnie and cory. i've know ronnie for years, seeing him at the clubs. also, he's dating cory, who works in the cafe at b&n. their both cool as shit. anyway, i got a drink and relaxed a bit and had a decent time, i guess. i still felt like shit at midnight, though, with no one to kiss. catherine was being pestered by this guy she didn't like who was hoping to sleep with her. that part was fine. it was amusing to watch, to be fair. my first bad break came later when she lit up a cigar, though at the time it seemed so innocuous.

after the annoying guy finally left, catherine was like, "is it cool if i get drunk and crash at your place?". duh!

but before leaving the club, my hopes for possible sex seemed to take a hit. catherine started getting all sad, cause last year she was with her ex and she had the "best new years ever". so when we get to my place, she's like "maybe i'll just go home", you know, all mopey and shit. she's become a complete sad clown, by this point. still, i got her to come in, and was hoping to shift her space from her being all down and depressed. i put some music on, and then i went for it. i was standing behind her in the kitchen, and started kissing and biting her neck. then i started biting really hard, cause she really gets off on that. and then there it was...that brief flicker of a moment when i nearly had her...only to have her say, "i really need to go home, so i can have my toothbrush and get this cigar taste out of my mouth."

damn cigar!!

we made out for a few minutes, and then she left.

hey, i tried. i was close, she was getting turned on. oh well.

another new year's eve in the books....