deadbeat?

i've returned from spain. didn't have a lot of time to see much of barcelona, but what i did see was beautiful. old architecture melded with doses of modernism. not too many people i encountered spoke english. it was difficult, but at the same time i enjoyed feeling like a minority (or whatever you'd call it).

i loved the coffee. it was half coffee and half milk, tasted strong, and kicked. so much better than the starbucks-shit i've grown accustomed to here. ugh. i've decided i'm done with coffee, for like, the hundreth time. this time it'll stick though ;)

on this trip it was myself, paul, arin, and kurt. arin's cool. she's funny, in her little prima donna kind of way. can't really explain it. but we get along well, which is important, since she'll be replacing jen as my a.p. for BBIV.

the only downside to the trip is i had no interent access, and i couldn't figure out my money situation. sure enough, i just glanced at my checking account and i screwed up and overdrew. :( i made two withdrawals of a whooping 20 euros each, and now i'm getting charged $33 for each transgression. ugh!

my money situation is not good. the worse it's ever been. i was thinking about staying an extra day in chicago next week, but now, no way. based on my lack of funds, i have decided that i have exactly ONE vacation left for the remainder of 2005...and that is wherever i go after our shoot in scotland. when i come back home, i'm living a very quiet and very cheap life for the rest of the year. i have to pay off my credit card and start building a savings account.

i feel like i'm a deadbeat. i do. here i am at the so-called 'peak' of my professional career and i don't have anything to show for it. maybe i'm being to hard on myself, but i don't think so. i simply haven't been wise with money. but, for the first time, i feel VERY happy i'm alone, cause i simply need to spend the rest of 2005 getting my shit together...